Why Am I Asking for Forgiveness?

Spiritual Sundays

0:00

-10:31

Paid episode

The full episode is only available to paid subscribers of Unorthodoxy

Why Am I Asking for Forgiveness?

How modern Christianity turned every lapse in discipline into a sin requiring divine absolution

Franklin O'Kanu

Oct 23, 2025

∙ Paid

In this podcast, you’ll discover:

The automatic guilt response — How a tired morning and 10 minutes of phone scrolling triggered an immediate “God, forgive me” without questioning why
The question that changed everything — Realizing I didn’t know who I was asking forgiveness from or what sin I’d actually committed
Religion as the inner policeman — How modern Christianity conditions us to treat every lapse in discipline as a sin requiring divine absolution
The divine already within us — Understanding “you are the children of God” means we don’t need external forgiveness for being human

Intro Note:

A note before we begin: This article is based on a voice note I recorded during a morning reflection—the raw, unfiltered moment when I caught myself automatically asking for forgiveness and realized I had no idea why.

What you’re about to read is a refined version of that recording. The full podcast captures the actual moment of realization, the pauses where the questions deepened, the conversation with my subscriber Sean, and the complete exploration of how religion becomes a psychological weapon that turns our humanity into something requiring constant absolution.

If you want the unedited journey—the spontaneous discovery, the full conversation on sin and discipline, the raw questioning of who we’re really giving our power to—become a paid subscriber to access the complete podcast archive.

Insomnia Strikes

The other day my child wasn’t feeling so good—well, he’s feeling fine, he just has a lot of snuffles. When he’s congested it’s hard for him to breathe, and you can hear him breathing as we sleep at night. Because of that, I just didn’t get any sleep. But you know what? These days happen. What are you going to do, stop? No. You just keep going.

So I looked over at the clock—3 o’clock—and said let’s go for a morning walk. We went for a morning walk, then hit the gym. I just knew that today was going to be one of those days, but we kept going. We had a pretty good workout, a pretty good mobility session, and that was that.

After using so much mental energy for the workout—just powering myself through on no sleep—I’m driving home and I hit a stoplight. I pick up my phone and start scrolling on Instagram.

Next thing I know, I’m literally scrolling all the way home. I’m scrolling while I’m driving. Of course I’m still driving, but I’m literally on my phone while driving, going from one app to another. For 10 minutes I just drove home on my phone.

Typically I don’t do that. That time from the gym to home is reflection time. The blood is flowing. What thoughts are coming to mind? What’s going on in my life? How can I assess certain things or navigate certain situations? That’s my “I’m awake now, let’s go” time. But this day—yesterday—being tired and having used so much energy in the gym, I just wanted to drown it out. I was on my phone.

The Automatic Guilt

When I got home, I thought, “Man.” Throughout my day, as I was showering and getting ready, I kept thinking about it. “Man, I spent a lot of time on my phone this morning on that car ride.” I think I even said the phrase, “God, forgive me for sinning and not using that time appropriately. Man, I should have done better.”

And then it hit me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pause for a second. What? Why are we asking for forgiveness? What are we asking for forgiveness for?

That’s a very good question, isn’t it? What are we asking for forgiveness for? Yeah, of course we know we shouldn’t be on the phone and drive. We shouldn’t be scrolling and driving, texting and driving. We know we shouldn’t do these things. These things should not be done. I know that.

But hold on, let’s take a step back.

I was on my phone because I was tired. I was literally just scrolling—I think I was on Substack, maybe reading some articles. Or maybe I was on Instagram or Threads. I went down a rabbit hole. And yes, that was bad. We definitely shouldn’t do that. We should start our day praying about our day.

But hold on. Asking for forgiveness? Calling it a sin? Whoa, what’s going on here?

Why did I just automatically revert to asking for forgiveness? Who am I asking for forgiveness from? For what sin did I commit? It’s almost like the Book of Job—what have I done? I haven’t done anything here. Yes, I was on my phone, but it’s not horrible.

What Are We Really Asking Forgiveness For?

This had me thinking. I reached out to one of my subscribers, Sean S., and we were having a conversation about other topics—it started with the Gospel of Thomas, which is something else we should discuss.

But I told him about this scenario. “I just found myself asking for forgiveness and I don’t know who I’m asking for forgiveness from. I don’t know what I’m asking for forgiveness for. I just looked at my phone for 10 minutes, which is something out of my norm.”

It became an engaging conversation because it goes back to the different perspectives we have as religious or Christian individuals—especially Christianity, since this is the frame I understand—and the idea of sin.

You could go down a whole rabbit hole about what sin actually is. I don’t have deep research on that topic, so I’m not going to have that conversation now. But taking sin for what it is, it’s essentially when we do something we shouldn’t do, right? We do something that we shouldn’t do. That’s almost the basis for sin.

But hold on—are we saying eating a cookie is a sin? Because yes, it’s a lack of discipline, but is that a sin I’m going to go to hell for? So why am I invoking and asking for forgiveness? You can make the argument, “Well yeah, you probably shouldn’t go that far.” But it goes down this questioning pathway. What exactly is going on?

Religion as the Inner Policeman

In one of my earlier podcasts, “How Religion Acts as a Weapon,” I talk about how religion—especially for people who follow it so seriously—can serve as an inner policeman in your head. This conscience that we’ve been given throughout society. Yes, it’s a conscience, but to what point should you as an individual ask for forgiveness from an invisible deity because you ate a cookie?

Now, this is entirely personal. This is my experience. But I would argue that a lot of us probably have a very similar experience where we do something and if you’re deep in the faith, it’s “Oh man, just pray for forgiveness.”

Just being in this mindset all the time, things get like that. This is really just piggybacking off that first podcast about how religion can be this psychological weapon. Because what it does is uphold the conscience that society has given us.

For example, some people might really feel bad about running red lights. Some people will stop and think, “Oh man, I ran that red light.” Some people might feel some kind of way about that to the point of “God, forgive me for doing that.” I get it.

But what we’re seeing here is there’s a lack of discipline, number one. And of course, we know better, we should do better, we strive for that. But depending on how deep you are in the faith, one might take that to another level and say, “Let me ask for forgiveness. I have sinned.”

Now, you shouldn’t go commit adultery. You shouldn’t go murder. Those are lack of discipline as well. But you can see how there’s a different spectrum versus eating a cookie.

You Are the Children of God

If you’re familiar with my work, you know I was raised Christian. But I would argue that the Christianity version we know is completely different than what Christianity itself was intended to be.

Just using the words of Christ: “You are the children of God.” Understanding what that phrase means—it’s not necessarily that I’m only a child of God if I follow Jesus Christ. No. The incarnate, the omnipresent, this divine that we have is in us, and we are experiencing the divine in everything that we do.

So why am I asking for forgiveness at that nature? Yes, I know I shouldn’t do this. Yes, it was a lack of discipline. I get it. It’s good. Move on.

But the weeping and sorrow? Where does that come from? The “woe is me” and “please forgive me”? That’s different. And that is what I would argue modern Christianity does—it places you in this position where you can’t do anything because any sign of lack of discipline is something you have to ask for forgiveness for.

The onus is on us as individuals—as the children of God, as individuals with God in them. The onus is on us to understand, “Okay, hey, I’m not going to do that again because that is dangerous. I should probably pay attention when I drive. That’s how accidents happen.” But I don’t need to ask for forgiveness for that.

As Sean said, “You’ve learned the lesson. You know what you did. Keep going.”

The Psychological Landscape of Faith

And that’s really what we’re discussing today. This kind of piggybacks off my other articles, such as “When You Thank God, Who Are You Giving the Power To?” What entity are you thanking? It’s the psychological landscape that religion puts you in—one where every misstep, every moment of weakness, every lapse in discipline becomes not just a lesson learned, but a sin requiring divine absolution.

But maybe that’s not what we need. Maybe we just need to recognize our humanity, learn from it, and keep going.

As always, thank you for the time and attention. I hope this provides you encouragement and insight. These are my thoughts as I have some time to put them down.

—Franklin O’Kanu

If you enjoyed this work and gained value from it, support more work like this by becoming a paid subscriber for $5/month

If you’re already aware but want to take a step toward becoming the best human you can be, you can check out my guide.

11 Insights for Being The Best Human This 50-page guide is the clearest map I’ve created for navigating the madness of modern life. It blends ancient wisdom, spiritual clarity, and grounded daily ritual — helping you remember who you are and why you’re here.

If the world feels off, this guide will confirm why — and help you take back control.

📥 Immediate download · PDF format

Support Unorthodoxy!

If this article opened your eyes, there’s more behind the paywall. Exclusive, in-depth pieces that go deeper, challenge more, and reveal the truths they don’t want us to see.

🔑 Become a paid member and gain access to premium and archived articles, exclusive podcasts, and thought-provoking chats you won’t find anywhere else.

Give a gift subscription

📖 Prefer a comprehensive take? My book, An Unorthodox Truth, is a fact-based journey through 200 years of deception—a must-read for those seeking clarity in a manipulated world.

Order From Me!

☕ Feeling generous? Leave a simple tip to support this work—every bit helps me continue creating meaningful content.

Buy Me Coffee